Much, then, as I would like to join the critical consensus on Lionel’s legacy, I feel I can do so only by stating a few caveats through the medium of Pissing Off The Taste Police. You see, Lionel was a funky cat back in the day. As a Commodore, he dressed brighter than many a member of Earth, Wind & Fire and was party to some songs that were almost good enough to compete with EW&F. Check out the disco-funk of the fantastic “Machine Gun”, a huge Motown hit.
....
Trouble is, with the ballads scoring big, Lionel decided he was not really a funkmeister but a black Barry Manilow. So he went solo, and released an album that didn’t so much scream as assault you with the message: “I ain’t got no funk no more.” And that was just the cover, on which our man looked like a new member of Sesame Street's monster gang. Or like the accountant brother-in-law your once wild sister married for stability.
The fuzzy and green accountant came up with a few tracks that were better than the monster slices of cheese such as “Truly”. “You Are” is a glorious slice of pop-soul, and “Wandering Stranger” continues Lionel’s country ballad trajectory kickstarted by “Sail On” (and continued by his writing the hit “Lady” for Kenny Rogers).
The debut solo album was just the set-up for the biggie: Can’t Slow Down. On the cover, your brother-in-law shows that he now is a chartered accountant, and his vocational accomplishments have bought him an air of cool. See, he owns a chair now. And look at the back cover: no socks. Like Don Johnson. And a pastel jacket. Daddy Cool! The hair and 'tache were stupid, even by the standards of the horrible '80s.
Fiesta forever, muthafuckah!
17 comments:
Dude, I must disagree. 'Hello' rules. Yes, maybe I enjoy it because it is hilarious but does not mean to be (particularly after watching the video - something, apparently, Lionel's co-star could not do). Something about it will always appeal to me.
Oh man, that video is shock & awe. Asking a blind girl: "Hello, is it me you're looking for?" must rank as one of the cruellest chat-up lines in history.
Well said about Lionel and the Commodores. "Easy" does indeed rule. (I'd cast a vote for "Sweet Love," too.) And regarding Lionel solo, check the fadeout of "My Destiny" for the catchiest 45 seconds of music the man ever wrote.
Lionel Ritchie will always equal Friends to me. I think I just outed my age right there.
If you hate 'Hello', have you heard the cover by Me First & The Gimme Gimme's? I love it.
I'm scared to go back and read you earlier Taste Police articles, since I have huge affection for three out of four of them... even saw BJ live a couple of years ago!
Ha, you'll be safe, Rol. I was much nicer to them than I was to Lionel. I'll have to get hold of the "Hello" cover version.
Saw the words 'Lionel Ritchie' and automatically pulled a vinegar face...but, then again, I've been looking for 'Sail On' for ages.... thank you.
Ugh..."Dancing on the Ceiling"...just the mention of the song is giving me the shakes.
I agree with you. Old Lionel is so much better than solo, mushy Lionel.
How can anyone not like a great song like "Brick House"?
Ah - I'm safe. The Carpenters link didn't work. ;-)
Fabulous, fabulous post. "All Night Song" was the first song I ever memorized. There's video footage of me as 3 year old singing that on my family's fireplace.
But the analogy of cover and our successful brother-in-law is genius. Well done.
Thank you Paul. I have a video of my son singing Steely Dan's "Barrytown" at 3. So there's hop he won't become an accountant.
Rol, sorry 'bout the link. Here's the correct one:
http://halfhearteddude.blogspot.com/2007/10/pissing-off-taste-police-with.html
Hmmm, the URL doesn't show. Maybe if I break it up:
http://halfhearteddude.blogspot.com/2007/10/
pissing-off-taste-police-with.html
Or go to the Any Major Features sidebar thingy, under the Pissing Off The Taste Police link...
Ah - it's working now, thanks.
"Sweet Love" is as close to perfect as any early 70's soul song on vinyl. (Gratefully, it never gained as much traction as others, leaving it free of being dreadfully overplayed on every soft rock station on the planet a la "She's Gone"). It never occurred to me there's a country vibe to "Sail On". What grabs me is that it lilts along for four and a half minutes or so before it blows out the chorus with that great horn and strings accompaniment. A brilliant tune. Ultimately, there's the black Lionel Richie (everything up to "Sail On") and the white Lionel Richie (everything since).
Well, honestly I say it's a matter of taste. The writer has his own taste as I have my own musical preferences. And there are so many factors which influence the way we listen to or appreciate music. I honestly love his music, commodores & post-commodores. I also happen to like soft-rock, AC. It;s a matter of taste
Haha, you always crack me up, Dude! I was laughing loudly while reading your entry about Brother Lionel.
While I actually like "Hello" a lot, his later stuff is really unbearable, at least mostly.
I actually most associate him with his anorexic drug-using daughter. What happened to her? She did not become like that just because the weather was not good. Something else went wrong. And I usually look at the parents in such situations. Which he is part of.
That is enough for me to not like him. Yes, I am that nasty!
P.S. Now I forgot to mention that the track "You Are" is no longer stored on that file site.
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